When I started writing this post I had approximately, or should I be more honest and say specifically 27 minutes to finish the post before my dinner was ready. There was something intensely satisfying in this because less than 8 minutes before I had come in the door from a phenomenal second run for the day. 30 seconds after I walked in the door, in the oven went my Mole Skillet pie (complete with homemade chile chocolate mole sauce and cornbread crust).

Ready to go into the oven!

But as we can see, I didn’t quite make it to the end of the post. Emails were more interesting and then dinner was much more interesting and suddenly here it is Sunday afternoon and I am finally bringing together then posting. Phew…

Inside the mole skillet pie

Week in Review

After last week sans recovery feeling, I was thinking that I would have some inevitable slow down this week. I took monday off, got a massage with the wonderful and amazing Alison, whom I am hoping will soon have her massage website up so I can send all of you too it and book with her and hoped that my legs would come back to me by Tuesday. I had run 86, 95 (not 91 like I thought and posted as such) and 78 miles in the previous three weeks and figured my body would probably insist on taking it easy. But surprisingly, I was wrong. Boy was I wrong!

Tuesday came all too soon and I wasn’t able to get out to Cougar Mtn like I hoped because I was waiting around the office for a Fedex, which when it came finally, I was unable to work in the files that I needed to complete the project. I was pretty frustrated and all the co-workers who could help me in the Atlanta office were MIA, so instead of kicking things or sitting there and simmering, I decided to go on what my high school best friend (whom I miss dearly) EP and I use to call a “I hate you so much right now” run, the chorus of this song being the idea. When one of these runs was in store, they were intense and fast. The idea was to run your way out of anger, that or run until you are so exhausted you can’t be angry. I took off at a sub 7 minute pace and ran 11 miles, even with a bit of slow down on the big hills (like Wallingford Ave). I averaged 7 min pace for the entire run. And, even more important, I felt better, went back to work and was able to complete the task. That evening, I went up to SRC to do the club run and figured I would pull back so I didn’t blow up too early in the week and not get at least a good recovery week in. Or so thought I. Usually there is a group of guys who gets pretty competitive at the front for the tuesday runs. Sometimes I run with them, sometimes I don’t. Well, none of them were there and so I figured, great I can just cruise and not feel like I am chasing. Instead, I was out there in front doing my thing. After the initial mile or so, I was running alone with a new guy in the group and we were keeping a nice quick pace. I felt really good actually. We powered up Interlaken, Galer and through the park. Not only were we the first back to the soccer field, but we ran 2 minutes faster than I usually run that route. So much for taking it easy.

Wednesday, I decided to get out to Cougar to make up for my missed opportunity on Tuesday. I was joined for my run by Jove. We planned to do about 10 miles, doing the loop that Alison and I usually do. However, I was evidently distracted or not thinking because I managed to miss one of our early turns and we ended up going a new and creative way around. We went up Quarry trail and then did the Wilderness Peak loop. He is a very good uphiller, so I pushed myself on the uphill hard in order to at least give him a good workout. While we were running, we were discussing the way I feel comparatively between this year and last. It was interesting to think about. It is really hard to say. I definitely don’t feel as fast as I was at this time last year, but really I shouldn’t. I feel equally fit and more strong and streamlined than I did this time last year. That is where the ideas of angles and surfaces came to mind. Last year at this time, I was peaking for Mad City 100k which was VERY much the focus of the first half of my season. One year ago today, I did the Napa Valley Marathon as a training run (in a big training week for me last year 70 miles!) and won. A month previous, I had run Jed Smith 50k and won/course record and ran one of the fastest times for an American woman in 10 years. I have had a few occasions lately where I have lamented feeling not feeling that fast anymore. But then I remember, my focus is different now. The angles and surfaces are different. This year (first half of the season), I am focusing on running up great big hills on trail and doing that fast and strong. Compared to last year, I am much stronger in that department. I think that is just another one of those things that I have keep reminding myself (but have known from the beginning/ why I love ultrarunning) is that you will never really be able to compare one race to another, there are just too many factors. Nonetheless, we kept running. I manged to run us in another circle on our way trying to connect to the Lost Beagle Trail and we ended up doing a 2hr run, which Jove seemed fine with. Best laid plans right? It was really fun and I look forward to running with him again.

Thursday, oh Thursday. As I blogged, I was not having a good day, but I managed to get out and do a 14+ mile loop. The sunshine went a long way in thawing my heart and I was able to gain some equilibrium in my own mind. I realized that I have for my entire life, been seeking meaning. Last summer, I even realized that I often overlooked what was here and now, in search of some future meaning, etc. At that point, I came to the realization that there is inherently meaning in everything/ no meaning in anything (which if you think about it, really is the same thing). Most of the time, this is a very freeing actualization for me and brings me firmly into the moment. But sometimes, especially since I have also lifelong been prone to melancholy, it is jus such a sorrowing thought. But as I ran, I was once again able to see, that is it neither a good or bad thing, it just is and by accepting it, I am able to embrace it. I have known for a long time, as I said in that blog, that “mama said there’ll be days like this” and that I just have to be patient until they go away. In voicing my feelings, I was really looking for an answer simply facing myself on the page and expelling it from within, which is begins of turning the tides on it.

By the time Friday rolled on in, I was thinking my legs were going to be DOA. I had already done 45 miles in 3 days and had gone to sleep with very tired legs. But I woke up on Friday morning feeling decent and headed out mid morning for a tempo-esqe workout. One of the things I need to start being more religious about in my training is speed/tempo workouts. I need to do them weekly and be good about it. I am not sure what exactly my tempo pace currently would look like. I am not in speedster pace like I was last year, so its harder to gauge. But I figured, a hair faster/ about equal to my marathon pace of a year ago was a good goal for this workout. I ran my first 4.12 miles in 6:36 pace and then eased up for the second recovery lap in 6:47 pace. When I got home (especially in light of Jove and my conversation) I did a little, oh yeah I still got it dance, knowing that I felt very comfortable at those paces and if I had rested legs would be able to pull them off for much longer (even a marathon). As a delicious reward I decided to make some gluten free/vegan Banana Chocolate Chip Bread. Another great recipe from Karina’s Kitchen, this bread absolutely rocks. Great texture, fantastic flavor combination and straight out of the oven provided some seriously warm gooey goodness. It must have been a chocolate kind of day, because later that evening I made my Mole Skillet Pie. Aren’t I glad Dark Chocolate is so good for you!


After making the bread, finishing up the afternoon of work and getting the Mole Skillet Pie oven ready, I went for my second run of the day. I headed down along the Burke Gillman and to Fremont for my favorite loop. I got on Wallingford Avenue and despite having run fast in the morning, I was flying up the hill! I was impressed with myself. By the time I got home, I was twice as giddy as I had been after my morning run. I put my Mole Skillet Pie in the oven and soon there after enjoyed its many layered deliciousness.

Saturday morning at 9am, I met up with Alison, James and many other runners (Laura, Greg Crowther, Van Phan, you know, the usual suspects) to do the 3hr (there was also a 10k and 6 hr option) run at Des Moines Park. The course was a 4 mile loop, with a shorter loop of 1.1 miles for when you were close to the cut off time. Alison, whose hamstring has been bothering her and I set off at a very conservative pace, especially since this wasn’t at all a race to us, but merely a quasi-coordinated training run. It was cold at the start so I wore my rain coat and had gloves, I was going to carry a bottle. All of those things got abandoned after 1 lap. The loop itself was most MTN bike track and though pretty flat, never really allowed you to get a rhthym because it was so twisty. Alison and I did 3 laps together and then she decided to slow up and mind her hamstring. The laps were not going as fast as I had anticipated, but I wanted to get at least 20 miles for the day. With 15 minutes left, I came into the start/finish at exactly 20 miles, everyone encouraged me to go do the 1.1 mile loop and so I took off as hard and as fast as my tired (finally) legs could carry me. So for the day, I got 21.1 good miles in.

Today, I met up with the SRC Sunday group, as well as Alison and James for a 14 miler Cougar Squaw Mtn loop(was suppose to be 16 but someone at the front didn’t do Central Peak?). My legs were very tired, so I was glad that Alison wanted to take it easy as well.It was a pleasant run and was my first time on Squaw, which is very nice!

This has been a really great training week and though I am tired, I am happy to be because I know my training is going well. This is “good training” tired. I did 96 miles this week and there is even a small part of me that thinks I might even have a recovery run left in me yet for today (just a short tool around Greenlake!?!? 5 miles thats all!) but not likely. I feel good that I am pushing myself but still being smart about not overtraining. The next two weeks leading up to Chuckanut will be a semi-taper though I am planning on training through the race. I just want to get my legs as fresh as possible for that race. All in all, a great week.

Addendum: I did, in fact, go for that extra 5 mile run, putting my week at 101 miles. And even more surprising was how great I felt. I just kept telling myself this was my final charge to the finish line at WS. I actually strapped on my pack and ran round Greenlake and then to whole foods, so really I was just reducing my carbon footprint, multitasking and breaking the 100 mile mark all in one

There are just those days when life sometimes fits like a coarse wool shirt on bare skin. It comes out of nowhere and is often prompted by nothing specifically. A feeling of inherent meaninglessness just zaps all semblance of energy and passion and all I want to do is crawl back under the covers and try to sneak out the other side of the bed. And its not even like getting out of the bed on the wrong side really, it is not a bad mood, its not anger, sadness or some combination of emotions that is traceable to anything tangible. Its a feeling that has a popularized term to describe it: the quarter-life crisis. And even that description floats towards the surface of the feeling. Just because supposedly lots of people feel this way, doesn’t really help. In alot of ways, it just makes me say, see it is in fact true. I think I need a distraction, I need direction. Working from home, I don’t get a lot of distractions. Being single, as well as working from home, I don’t get a lot of breaks from my inner space. And a lot of time thats a good thing. Sometimes I can just float in that space like a body suspended on the dead sea, face pointed towards the sun, contented. But not today. Today, I stretch to find a way out, to be thrown a lifeline that at least when I pull, goes taunt instead of giving, at least promising of a secure rooting on the other end. Social life, running, job, financials….I look everywhere for respite but find none. I hear the maternal voice echoing for patience and instinctively think, have I not been? And instead of being moved to even just distract myself, I can do nothing but sit in it, neck high in the muckety muck. I am frozen in space and time. Sigh, even trying to write about it feels forced beyond belief… I tried pancakes (to make me feel better), I will soon try running and hopefully that will at least distract me for a bit. The pancakes, as delicious as they were, just made me worry about other things. I had a few busy days of work, and then today back to the usual. I just need to get out of the house, I need to find connection, I need to find a bit of freedom for this feeling. Each sentence is like this space, floating away separate from each around it, yet combining into one big stew. I’m going to have patience, what choice do I have and tell myself that tomorrow will be better. The old, “act as if”….

Blueberry Gluten Free Pancakes
My one triumph of the day was making from scratch some very delicious Blueberry Gluten Free Pancakes from a recipe that I created. I had been looking around this morning for a recipe for Gluten Free Pancakes but found nothing that sounded appealing, so I took stock of the approximate proportions of dry to wet ingredients and headed into the test kitchen. I have to say, I’ve got skills. The pancakes were fluffy, not overly sweet and a great prerun fuel up (though, 5 hours later, I still haven’t run yet BUT still).

Ingredients:
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup buckwheat flour
1/4 cup Pamela’s Gluten Free Bread Mix
1 tbsp Sucanata
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup almond milk
1/2 cup applesauce (I used blackberry applesauce)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
2/3 cup berries

Directions:
In a bowl mix dry ingredients. Add almond milk and blend well. Add egg & vanilla and fold into batter. Add applesauce and continue to mix by hand. The batter should be pretty liquid and not too dense. Add the berries and gently fold them into the batter. Heat a skillet over medium to medium high heat. Scoop out 1/4 cup -1/2 cup of batter and pour into the skillet (you can grease the pan if you want but I had no sticking), spread around to desired thickness. I made mine with about a 1/2 cup of batter because I am a runner damnit and some little pancake is not going to do anything for me! I let it cook, watching it like a hawk for about 1.5 minutes, until the edges were starting to look cooked but the middle was still pretty liquidy. Flip and continue cooking until cooked through. When the bottom was as crisp and toasty brown as the top is when I figured I was good to take it off and I was right. These were absolutely delicious. I served mine up with a banana, pear, chopped pecans and some grade A Maple Syrup. My body has definitely been on a grain bent lately (kinda like my potato and brussel sprouts) and so I have been obliging as much as I can. As a GF special needs eater, this is more difficult for me than most and being a runner who needs a nice hefty portion of food in the mornings this is even more difficult, so these pancakes filled the bill nicely. Not to sweet, not to heavy, good and good for you.

Samosa Stuffed Baked Potatoes, the sequel
Last month I posted this recipe after making it with my uncle and his girlfriend. On tuesday night, I made them again and this time remember to take pictures. Absolutely delicious! I served it up with a side of sauteed broccoli, onions, mushrooms and bell peppers with red pepper flakes. These are great even as leftovers!

After a big training week last week of 91 miles(!), I had planned this week to be a nice recovery week including two days off and hopefully get my legs back. But plans quickly change when the sun comes out! I took Monday off, which was very enjoyable and my legs felt like they would bounce back quickly if I took it easy this week. Tuesday morning, Justin emailed and asked if I would be keen to get out on Cougar and I had had the same idea, as the sun was absolutely brilliant. We did a nice 10 miles, a bit faster than either of us had really intended in 1:26. I guess we just got talking and our feet just followed. It was great to run in short sleeves and it was great to have the company. That evening, I went up to SRC for the club run and was running with Alan who also ran Orcas and was thus keen to take it easy. About a mile + into the run, I said, “um, if this is recovery pace, then I am going to need to slow down”, He said, “I was following your pace”. I said, “me, I was following you!”. We laughed and told the sizeable group of fast guys that they were going to have to carry on without us, we slowed to a much more manageable pace and had a nice 6 mile run/chat. Wednesday was another beautiful day and I couldn’t resist heading out to Cougar for a little longer jaunt. I headed out on the loop Alison and I usually do and added De Lao (spelling?) Wall as well as Wilderness Peak which definitely was not really a recovery effort at all. I could tell my legs were tired and the hills were tough. But the sun was shining, I took my time and other than a minor 1 mile detour near the end, it was a great run. Thursday I rested, Friday I ran (literally) some errands, then ran to lunch with Tara and then home via the uberlong way, up and over Capitol Hill, down along Eastlake, around Lake Union, up through Fremont, down around Greenlake and home, phew. Saturday, I did a nice and easy 9 miles on the roads. I realized at that point that there was nothing very recovery about my week and my Sunday was not looking any better.

I decided to go up on Sunday to Chuckanut with Dan to preview the Chuckanut 50k course, middle 18 miles. Dan was kind enough to take me around for the hilly parts of the course, avoiding all but about 1 mile of the flat part that is the center of the love/hate relationship with this course. Ultimately we did about 20. My legs were absolutely with out juice. Nutritionally, I ran into the same digestive issues before the run, which I need to figure out STAT and thus was feeling a bit low on energy. My legs were just plain tired too, which is natural. Dan was very patient with me and I was happy to get out and enjoy the nice morning. We ran into Laura and her training partners up near fragrance lake and as we ran up Cleator Road it was like grand central station. Everyone was out checking out the course or getting ready. We had stashed my car at the top of Cleator as our aid station, we filled up, I tried a Honey Stinger which is one of my team Inov-8 sponsors. It was quite delicious and despite being sweet (though not any more than any other gel), I liked it. I have heard that sometimes if they are kept too long that the gels (as does honey) can harden and not be very gel like. In other words, they are like honey and therefore act like honey. Which to me is a good thing, as I really am not that comfortable taking things that have no relationship to anything natural. We ran up and along the ridgeline trail, then lost lake and finally up Chin Scraper. At that point we got to “enjoy” a bunch of downhill. Dan had been very patient with me on the uphill and I got to return the favor on the down and flats. I was very happy to be done and ready to be done. Dan drove me back up Cleator and I jumped in my car and headed back to Seattle. All in all, it was a great week although it was not as recovery as I had intended. I am very much looking forward to my day off tomorrow and my massage with Alison! A recovery week with 78 miles is great, not for the recovery part, but at least to know I can put back to back weeks together like that!

View from the ridge

On the ridge trail

Dan ready to be done on the flats

Hot pink knee socks, no joke.

the first time my toes have been painted in a year

Chia Seed posting will be forthcoming, but right now….its time to eat.